A Lesson in Etiquette...

Last week I attended a dinner at GMU to learn proper table etiquette, here are some tips for you to practice at home:

1. It is still considered polite behavior for a gentleman to seat his female guest or companion.
2. Avoid ordering foods that can be messy or awkward (such as pasta with sauce).
3. Do not order alcoholic beverages.
4. Drink with your left hand so you can shake with your right hand and it is not wet or clamy.
5. Pass the salt and pepper shakers together, even in someone only asks for one. They are married.
6. Do not ask to taste someone else's food or offer a taste of yours to someone else.
7. Bread can be used to sop up food juices on your plate, but use a fork to hold it.
8. Bring up a topic when there is a lull in the conversation - others will be grateful.
9. When you are finished eating, place your knife and fork parallel together on the plate in the 10 o'clock - 4 o'clock position. This will signal the waitperson you have finished.
10. Do not ask for a doggie bag.

Reflecting on what I learned, I am sad to say that the only man to pull out my chair recently is the cute employee at my local Taco Bell. And I would like to report that I passed the dinner with flying colors, however apparently throwing back beers at dinner and yelling out "that's what she said" after our hostess claimed "if it's small enough put the entire thing in your mouth" are frowned upon. I laughed.