ever happen to you?

Ever get your period a day early? Well, that's exactly what happened to me... and I had zero tampons with me. All the girls on the research side of my office were out today so I couldn't ask them for an extra one. And 85% of the girls on the marketing side are pregnant (the other 15% stopped getting periods about 397 years ago). I was S.O.L...

I decided to walk to the gas station down the street... 75 and sunny... heck yes. When I arrive, I go find my travel pack of tampons ($4.00 by the way) and grab a dark chocolate bar (for those who think PMS is a myth, fuck you). As I'm waiting in line, the brotha in front of me turns around and start hitting on me. Dude, I'm standing in line holding tampons and chocolate. Do you really think this is a good time to be talking to me? Uhhh, no. Leave me alone and let me pay for my chocolate... come back to me in a week. Thanks!

a day in the life of angela

After my final this morning I decided to go shopping at Nordstroms. After purchasing some "must have" items, I decide that instead of going to work and heating up my Lean Cuisine, I should probably just stop by the Cafe and get a salad. So I do.

I'm sitting in a two seater booth waiting for my to-go order, when a nice older lady asks to sit and waits with me. So we start chatting it up. I look around and notice that there are only women there... with shit loads of shopping bags... all with strollers. So I say to the lady "have you ever noticed that it's all woman that come here?"

So she looks around and laughs. At this point, I say "I bet it must be really nice to be able to just shop and lunch with your friends."

She looks at me and goes "It's actually really stressful."

What did you just say, lady? There is no way on earth that going to Nordstroms, shopping for anything your husband's money will allow you to shop for and meeting your girlfriends (who I assume are doing the same thing) for lunch a Nordstrom Cafe can be stressful.

So I politely ask, "How so?"

To which she responds, "You know, kids don't like to shop. They always throw fits when you least expect. And then you don't really get a chance to eat because you're always feeding him, or wiping macaroni off his face. And don't get me started on trying to juggle the shopping bags AND the stroller."

What I wanted to say to her was "I bet your kid is a brat." But instead I said "Well, I hope it becomes less stressful."

I mean, shopping... kids... lunch... how stressful can it be? Sounds like a dream to me! Anyone willing to give this to me? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Swine Flu

Click here to see if you have swine flu.

Steal Me This Boy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gHvATmUsSg

love at first smear

Dr. SilverFox cancelled my "lady" appointment with me this morning. I was a little disappointed to say the least - I had shaved, lotioned, and primped my ass off in anticipation of seeing him. Pathetic, I know. They kindly rescheduled me with an OB/GYN in the same office to make up for this last minute cancellation. Fully expecting a female to walk in, I was very pleasantly surprised when my doctor, Dr. Day, walked in and greeted me. Holy Hell was he cute... even cuter than Dr. SilverFox... taller, bigger build, slightly younger (probably 42ish), deeper voice, and a firmer handshake. I pretty much wet myself on the spot. I was so nervous that I missed out on his first name. Damnit! Our exam goes smoothly... I crack some dumb jokes (I do this when I'm nervous) and then it's over. I'm good to go. Before I leave, I realize that I have forgotten to see if he was married. Upon shaking his hand goodbye, I notice that his hand was ring free... jackpot... but then I got to thinking. Maybe he doesn't wear his ring because his hands are inside vaginas all day? It doesn't matter... I think I'm in love.

New Phoenix

I haven't been this excited over an album release in a while:

Did you know C.H. was Jewish?

My brother told me about this... I cracked my shit up.