New Phoenix

I haven't been this excited over an album release in a while:

Did you know C.H. was Jewish?

My brother told me about this... I cracked my shit up.

thanks for stating the obvious

So I'm sitting in class, minding my own business, when I hear the girl sitting behind whisper to her friend, "she's so tall, I can't see the board."
Well, genius, you have two options:
1) Move to another seat, as I sat my ass down first; or
2) Grow a couple inches.

She didn't do either. Bitch.

Thing I learned this weekend...

-My sister got punched in the face by a dude;
-It's not polite (nor do the parents like) when you call their newborn boy "nutsack";
-The large margarita from Guapo's will put you on your ass;
-70% of jelly bellys are disgusting;
-I'm not the only one who still likes the "Dr. Pepper" lip gloss by Bonnie Bell;
-I love my car;
-I've gone back to my hatred for Taco Bell;
-I could never live in Richmond.

A Lesson in Etiquette...

Last week I attended a dinner at GMU to learn proper table etiquette, here are some tips for you to practice at home:

1. It is still considered polite behavior for a gentleman to seat his female guest or companion.
2. Avoid ordering foods that can be messy or awkward (such as pasta with sauce).
3. Do not order alcoholic beverages.
4. Drink with your left hand so you can shake with your right hand and it is not wet or clamy.
5. Pass the salt and pepper shakers together, even in someone only asks for one. They are married.
6. Do not ask to taste someone else's food or offer a taste of yours to someone else.
7. Bread can be used to sop up food juices on your plate, but use a fork to hold it.
8. Bring up a topic when there is a lull in the conversation - others will be grateful.
9. When you are finished eating, place your knife and fork parallel together on the plate in the 10 o'clock - 4 o'clock position. This will signal the waitperson you have finished.
10. Do not ask for a doggie bag.

Reflecting on what I learned, I am sad to say that the only man to pull out my chair recently is the cute employee at my local Taco Bell. And I would like to report that I passed the dinner with flying colors, however apparently throwing back beers at dinner and yelling out "that's what she said" after our hostess claimed "if it's small enough put the entire thing in your mouth" are frowned upon. I laughed.

this is what the world is coming to

So I'm sitting in the JC Cinema at GMU, waiting to watch a movie for class. The Chinese movie "To Live" depicts the struggles of one family as they endure tumultuous events in China as their personal fortunes move from wealthy landownership to peasantry. In one of the periods of the movie the lead character is forced into the Nationalist Army. In this scence three men are huddled together in a bunker, trying not to freeze to death. One of the men disappears and comes back with blankets and jackets stolen from the deceased. As they are covering themselves and trying to stay warm, that same man brings out a flask of alcohol that he swiped from a deceased General. As I'm watching these men on screen passing the flask around, indulging in one of their greatest pleasures, yet still trying stay warm... I start to feeling sad. Sad because they were cold and alone and tired... but mostly sad because they didn't have a Snuggie. They really could have used one.

say it ain't so

My counterpart is sick... so sick, in fact, that she is contemplating not going to the PCD/Britney concert tomorrow night. It must be serious.

Please sent her way:
-Hot Dogs
-Soup
-Orange Juice
-Cold/Flu Medicine

Thank you kindly!