Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The fourth of July weekend was, by far, the most ridiculous weekend the both of us have had in a really long time. We started off on Thursday with Dank's 20-somethingth birthday at SoBe. Whoever thought it was a good idea to start off the night playing Civil War needs to pay for our liver transplants. Here are some highlights from that night:
-My counterpart walks home from the bar wasted and alone.
-I yell at my counterpart's boyfriend for letting her walk home from the bar wasted and alone.
-We take pictures, most of which we do not remember.
-Karaoke
Friday was dedicated to Caitlin's bachelorette party. Decked out in hottie whistles and glowing engagement rings, we started off at Sequoia with dinner. Worst.ginger.waiter.ever. He's lucky the gratuity was already included in the bill. That's all I'm going to say about him. Dinner turned into drinks on the waterfront with shots (or we should say cups) of tequila. Best quote of the night:
-older lady asks us why we have on blinking glowing rings to which Meaghan replys "because we're bffs."
We then walked over to 3rd Edition for some booty dropping. And that's exactly what we did. We decided to leave after Caitlin motorboated one of us for her ID card. Heading back to Dank's house for some late night drinking and passing out, we enter the house to:
-all the shades in the house down
-9 cans of whipped cream on the table
-the smell of baby prostitute looming in the air
-a loan chair in the middle of the living room.
.... this could only mean one thing. STRIPPERS!! The boys had gotten a stripper for Caitlin's fiance's bachelor party. Disregarding what the cans of whipped cream were used for, we each grabbed one and started doing whippets... i'm pretty sure we all got herpes from it. The boys came back from their wild night of partying at Four Courts (pppsshhttt) and played civil war with us.
The boys hated our hottie whistles. The boys were jealous of our blinking rings.
Saturday was the 4th:
-playing washers
-beer ponging
-drinking
-BBQing
-drinking
-fireworks
at the end of the night, the plan turned from going down to the waterfront to continue drinking to going over to Doug's house to burn stuff. My counterpart, her boyfriend and I stayed back at the house - unable to see straight.
that's when we notice the two random people upstairs... trying to hook up in one of the rooms. OH HELL NO!!!
Yelling insues.
The girl was apparently told to run out of the house because the boy was afraid that my counterpart and I were going to kick her ass (we may or may not have said we were going to). The last thing I remember is someone yelling "this isn't a brothel."
So... to recap:
1) my counterpart and I turn into streetfighters we we've been drinking, and
2) hottie whistles and blinking rings are the best investments ever.
-My counterpart walks home from the bar wasted and alone.
-I yell at my counterpart's boyfriend for letting her walk home from the bar wasted and alone.
-We take pictures, most of which we do not remember.
-Karaoke
Friday was dedicated to Caitlin's bachelorette party. Decked out in hottie whistles and glowing engagement rings, we started off at Sequoia with dinner. Worst.ginger.waiter.ever. He's lucky the gratuity was already included in the bill. That's all I'm going to say about him. Dinner turned into drinks on the waterfront with shots (or we should say cups) of tequila. Best quote of the night:
-older lady asks us why we have on blinking glowing rings to which Meaghan replys "because we're bffs."
We then walked over to 3rd Edition for some booty dropping. And that's exactly what we did. We decided to leave after Caitlin motorboated one of us for her ID card. Heading back to Dank's house for some late night drinking and passing out, we enter the house to:
-all the shades in the house down
-9 cans of whipped cream on the table
-the smell of baby prostitute looming in the air
-a loan chair in the middle of the living room.
.... this could only mean one thing. STRIPPERS!! The boys had gotten a stripper for Caitlin's fiance's bachelor party. Disregarding what the cans of whipped cream were used for, we each grabbed one and started doing whippets... i'm pretty sure we all got herpes from it. The boys came back from their wild night of partying at Four Courts (pppsshhttt) and played civil war with us.
The boys hated our hottie whistles. The boys were jealous of our blinking rings.
Saturday was the 4th:
-playing washers
-beer ponging
-drinking
-BBQing
-drinking
-fireworks
at the end of the night, the plan turned from going down to the waterfront to continue drinking to going over to Doug's house to burn stuff. My counterpart, her boyfriend and I stayed back at the house - unable to see straight.
that's when we notice the two random people upstairs... trying to hook up in one of the rooms. OH HELL NO!!!
Yelling insues.
The girl was apparently told to run out of the house because the boy was afraid that my counterpart and I were going to kick her ass (we may or may not have said we were going to). The last thing I remember is someone yelling "this isn't a brothel."
So... to recap:
1) my counterpart and I turn into streetfighters we we've been drinking, and
2) hottie whistles and blinking rings are the best investments ever.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I Wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Wiener....
Frankfurter, weenie, frank, wiener....I love hot dogs. Anyone who knows me well knows that a hot dog is the way to my heart. At this moment, I have 14, individually wrapped hot dogs in my refrigerator (I donated two to my counterpart). I even trademarked my hot dog dance that I perform late at night, whilst cooking, ok microwaving, hot dogs. It's a rare treat to witness.
This weekend my obsession took a new turn as counterpart and I drove to Richmond to get hot dogs for lunch, at City Dogs. It was amazing and I would easily do it again! What we won't tell you is that I repeatedly whined/complained to her after leaving that I only ate one.
I can't pin-point the day my love of hot dogs began, but I also associate hot dogs with fun times: baseball games; day/drinking and cookouts; the local town fair; eating my feelings late at night, etc.
Now if only my boyfriend could learn to prepare me deliciously grilled hot dogs and not these (notice the extra char):
He does however, make a perfectly cooked steak with a perfect pink center.
This weekend my obsession took a new turn as counterpart and I drove to Richmond to get hot dogs for lunch, at City Dogs. It was amazing and I would easily do it again! What we won't tell you is that I repeatedly whined/complained to her after leaving that I only ate one.
I can't pin-point the day my love of hot dogs began, but I also associate hot dogs with fun times: baseball games; day/drinking and cookouts; the local town fair; eating my feelings late at night, etc.
Now if only my boyfriend could learn to prepare me deliciously grilled hot dogs and not these (notice the extra char):
He does however, make a perfectly cooked steak with a perfect pink center.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
...baby, I will wait for you...
My counterpart and I went to Rocket Bar Sunday night and snagged some seats, well, at the bar. We're sitting there minding our bidness when along comes... wait for it... Elliott Yamin (of American Idol "fame"). A couple things about this situation:
A) He's 5 foot nothing.
B) His teeth were very large.
C) He was wearing a snowcap in 90 degree weather
D) No one I was with believed it was him.
E) He looked perturbed when Frank yelled out "Eliot" and turned back around.
F) No one asked for his autograph/pictures
The most surprising thing about Eliot, besides his Hilary-Duff-Syndrome-Veneers, was the fact that he rolled up with an entourage of 10 people. All big and buff.
Really Elliott? You're not that famous.
A) He's 5 foot nothing.
B) His teeth were very large.
C) He was wearing a snowcap in 90 degree weather
D) No one I was with believed it was him.
E) He looked perturbed when Frank yelled out "Eliot" and turned back around.
F) No one asked for his autograph/pictures
The most surprising thing about Eliot, besides his Hilary-Duff-Syndrome-Veneers, was the fact that he rolled up with an entourage of 10 people. All big and buff.
Really Elliott? You're not that famous.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
ever happen to you?
Ever get your period a day early? Well, that's exactly what happened to me... and I had zero tampons with me. All the girls on the research side of my office were out today so I couldn't ask them for an extra one. And 85% of the girls on the marketing side are pregnant (the other 15% stopped getting periods about 397 years ago). I was S.O.L...
I decided to walk to the gas station down the street... 75 and sunny... heck yes. When I arrive, I go find my travel pack of tampons ($4.00 by the way) and grab a dark chocolate bar (for those who think PMS is a myth, fuck you). As I'm waiting in line, the brotha in front of me turns around and start hitting on me. Dude, I'm standing in line holding tampons and chocolate. Do you really think this is a good time to be talking to me? Uhhh, no. Leave me alone and let me pay for my chocolate... come back to me in a week. Thanks!
I decided to walk to the gas station down the street... 75 and sunny... heck yes. When I arrive, I go find my travel pack of tampons ($4.00 by the way) and grab a dark chocolate bar (for those who think PMS is a myth, fuck you). As I'm waiting in line, the brotha in front of me turns around and start hitting on me. Dude, I'm standing in line holding tampons and chocolate. Do you really think this is a good time to be talking to me? Uhhh, no. Leave me alone and let me pay for my chocolate... come back to me in a week. Thanks!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
a day in the life of angela
After my final this morning I decided to go shopping at Nordstroms. After purchasing some "must have" items, I decide that instead of going to work and heating up my Lean Cuisine, I should probably just stop by the Cafe and get a salad. So I do.
I'm sitting in a two seater booth waiting for my to-go order, when a nice older lady asks to sit and waits with me. So we start chatting it up. I look around and notice that there are only women there... with shit loads of shopping bags... all with strollers. So I say to the lady "have you ever noticed that it's all woman that come here?"
So she looks around and laughs. At this point, I say "I bet it must be really nice to be able to just shop and lunch with your friends."
She looks at me and goes "It's actually really stressful."
What did you just say, lady? There is no way on earth that going to Nordstroms, shopping for anything your husband's money will allow you to shop for and meeting your girlfriends (who I assume are doing the same thing) for lunch a Nordstrom Cafe can be stressful.
So I politely ask, "How so?"
To which she responds, "You know, kids don't like to shop. They always throw fits when you least expect. And then you don't really get a chance to eat because you're always feeding him, or wiping macaroni off his face. And don't get me started on trying to juggle the shopping bags AND the stroller."
What I wanted to say to her was "I bet your kid is a brat." But instead I said "Well, I hope it becomes less stressful."
I mean, shopping... kids... lunch... how stressful can it be? Sounds like a dream to me! Anyone willing to give this to me? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I'm sitting in a two seater booth waiting for my to-go order, when a nice older lady asks to sit and waits with me. So we start chatting it up. I look around and notice that there are only women there... with shit loads of shopping bags... all with strollers. So I say to the lady "have you ever noticed that it's all woman that come here?"
So she looks around and laughs. At this point, I say "I bet it must be really nice to be able to just shop and lunch with your friends."
She looks at me and goes "It's actually really stressful."
What did you just say, lady? There is no way on earth that going to Nordstroms, shopping for anything your husband's money will allow you to shop for and meeting your girlfriends (who I assume are doing the same thing) for lunch a Nordstrom Cafe can be stressful.
So I politely ask, "How so?"
To which she responds, "You know, kids don't like to shop. They always throw fits when you least expect. And then you don't really get a chance to eat because you're always feeding him, or wiping macaroni off his face. And don't get me started on trying to juggle the shopping bags AND the stroller."
What I wanted to say to her was "I bet your kid is a brat." But instead I said "Well, I hope it becomes less stressful."
I mean, shopping... kids... lunch... how stressful can it be? Sounds like a dream to me! Anyone willing to give this to me? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Friday, May 1, 2009
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